Water in the Desert

I open my eyes to the sound of my alarm buzzing for however many times I’ve pushed snooze today. As light pours through my blinds, I actually look at my phone to turn it off instead of blindly searching to disable the noise. It’s noon. I should probably get up. But I have nothing to do. Nothing for three more hours. I might as well sleep longer...it’s noon...but I have no reason to get up. 

In December, I got let go from my job. Nothing bad happened, it was just scheduling issues, but nonetheless it left me jobless in a new city. My days were made up of job searching online and around town...and hanging out at home. It reminded me a lot of when I would got home for winter break in college; not a lot to do paired with a lack of financial stability. Depression crept in and anxious thoughts took over. I found myself slipping into an unhealthy place, a (winter) desert. 

The difference between previous desert seasons and this one? Once I started seeing the place I was in, I started searching for joy, searching for water. 

When we find ourselves walking through these deserts of depression and anxiety, the worst thing we can do is lay down in the sand and wait for water to appear. Instead, start searching. Search for the thingsin life that keep you moving forward, and keep you healthy. 

I started to set my alarm and put it across my room so I actually got up. I set up co-writes with other songwriters and started to work out more. I took books or busy work to coffee shops to get out of the house. Most importantly, I was open and honest with my friends when they asked how I was. I kept pushing myself forward instead of letting myself sit in depression. Things did not instantly change, but the big desert ahead became a small desert behind me. I found some new favorite spots around town. I started hiking more and actually getting myself to the gym became easier. AND I start my new job in less than a week! 

If seasonal depression has got the best of you, or you’re finding yourself in a desert season, the best thing to do for yourself is to keep pushing forward one step at a time. Sooner than you know it, the waves of sand will disappear under your feet. Don't sit down in the sand. Search for what brings you joy and do it. Search for water.